Posts in Motivation

5 reasons why you may not reach your goals.

If we live in universe of infinite possibilities, why aren’t we all successful?

Why aren’t we all where we all where we want to be in life? We’re probably the most self-focused generation in creation. Here are 5 reasons why you could be stuck at dreaming and not doing:

1. You’re afraid that it will never happen for you.

I know someone who’d love to be an advertising model but she hasn’t done anything to pursue it. She’s beautiful, and while modeling has less to do with beauty and more to with confidence, her looks would certainly be an advantage. When I’d asked why she doesn’t pursue modeling, she said that it was just a dream. And how would you turn a dream into an experience if you aren’t doing anything? Most of the time, we’re afraid that we’ll be rejected so we don’t bother trying.

2. You can’t actually picture yourself at your goal.

If you’ve set a goal that you’re going to reach one day, forget it. A dream can only be realized if you work towards it and set a specific deadline. Know when, where, and how you’ll get what you want, by when. The chances of success after your first attempt is one in a million, so you can almost bet that you’ll exceed your deadline anyway, but it’s a great guideline.

3. You just don’t have the patience…

To wait, to take orders, to listen to rejection after rejection. Technology is rapidly changing society. You’ve barely torn the plastic from a new gadget, and already new model is being manufactured. A lot more can happen in five minutes, than it could 10 years ago. And we’ve become so accustomed to having things happen quickly, that we forget that our future can’t be downloaded within mere minutes. We forget that anything with having takes a lot of effort and pressure like cutting diamonds.

4. Reaching the top often means loneliness.

There is a distinct difference between being alone and being lonely. The former means being by yourself, and the latter means having only yourself. None of us want to be lonely. After all, what would the the value of your success if you didn’t have anyone to share it with? I’ve seen people aggressively beat challenges and perform at the height of their potential. And I’ve also noticed that the closer they’ve come to reaching their goals, the harder they’ve had to work and sacrifice social interactions. This is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who share similar interests as you.

When you surround yourself with like-minded people, you allow yourself to learn, teach, and be supportive, but more importantly, accompanied down the road to your goal.

5. Because what are you supposed to do afterwards…

We all have a purpose in life and our goals guide us to it. Establish a reason for your goal and then you’ll know where to, after you’ve achieved it. Reaching your dream doesn’t mean the end of your life and purpose, it simply opens up a door for your to explore new things. From one of the best fables of all time, The Alchemist, “wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure”. 

Do you have a suggestion to add to the list? I’d love to hear from you. Post a comment in the space below, or email me directly to robyn@bewhole.co.za

Image source: Ryan McGuire/Gratisography

Why you should never give less than your best.

I was listening to Les Brown’s Shoot for Moon audio where he talks about how you owe it to yourself to do your best. Les read a short story that was so gripping; it would be an injustice not to share it with you. It’s called, The Builder:

There was a man who was an efficient builder. He’d worked at a large company for years and had reached the age of retirement, when his employer asked him to build one more house. It was to be his last commission.

The builder took the job but his heart was not involved; he used inferior materials, timber was poor, and he failed to see the many things that would have been clear to him if he had shown even his normal interest in his work.

When he’d finished the house, his employer came to him and said, “The house is yours. Here’s the key. It’s a present from me”. The builder immediately regretted not using the best materials or the most capable workers. If only he’d known that the house was for him.

Moral: Commit to giving your best effort because it may be your karma.

What a mind-blowing story don’t you think? Imagine if all the half-assed things you did was given to you as a reward. Would you even want it? If ever there was a reason to avoid doing a crappy job, this is it.

Everything you do serves as a representation of you. You owe it to yourself to portray the best version of who you are. Never mind what people think of you, never mind if you’re not really interested in doing what you’re doing right now, if you’ve committed to something, maintain it. Your output will be marked as your level of capability and consistency.

The easiest way to remind yourself to continually do your best,  is to ask yourself whether you’d sign your name to that job for all the effort you’ve put in. The work you did today, was that your best effort? The cracks of half-assed jobs begin to show sooner or later; you cannot hide what you didn’t do or lack. Let that resonate with you.

Would you like to suggest a motivational story to feature? I’d love to hear from you. Post a comment in the space below, or email me directly to robyn@bewhole.co.za

Image source: Ryan McGuire/Gratisography

My Chemistry teacher had this to say about love and I want to know if you feel the same way.

One of this week’s Daily Post topics discussed teachers and how they’d influenced our lives, whether good or bad.

I’d experienced different methods of learning from my teachers throughout the years and favoured many, but one in particular that I will never forget, was my high school Science teacher, Mr Moosa.

Moving often meant changing schools and by the time I’d graduated from High School, I’d been to my fifth school. This quickly taught me adaptability and I was lucky enough to meet some people whom I still converse with to this day.

After I’d left high school, I never saw Mr Moosa again. I have no idea how he is doing (he must have retired), but I know that I will never forget the look on his face when spoke about love. It was as if he’d had a sour taste in his mouth, the way he’d wrinkle his nose after saying:

Love is a chemical imbalance between two fools. It can be learned and unlearned.

My classmates and I would dismiss it as a dry Chemistry joke. He was exceptionally wise but not very entertaining. One time I’d dosed off during a lesson and then burst into tears as he caught me. I was horrified that I may have offended him by dosing off and that brought on my wimpy tears.

He strongly believed that love could be destructive and that self discipline should be maintained above all relationships. I forget how we’d get into a debate but the entire class (of 46) would be involved.

The argument was that one partner will always love the other more, and that relationships thrive on a matter of understanding rather than love only. It’s easy to love someone whom you admire based on their principles but difficult to maintain a relationship based on feelings only. Feelings are temporary while principles are constant – feelings are one-sided and frequently irrational. You are better off loving someone with good principles than you are loving someone whom you only have ‘feelings’ for. Make sense?

I’d recently heard Eric Thomas recite a bible verse which read, “find a man who is diligent in his work, and he shall stand before kings and not obscure men (Prov 22:29). This would justify Mr Moosa’s way of thinking.

I’d love to hear from you. Do you think that this is a useful approach to love? Post a comment in the space below or send me an email to robyn@bewhole.co.za

I’m having so much fun solo dating right now; a friend whom I hadn’t seen in about two years recently commented on how much I’ve changed. Read 10 things you learn from solo dating for more info on solo dating.

Photo by Kirsten Holman

10 Things you learn from solo dating

A little l’amour de soi is always a good thing.

Solo dating is when you do anything enjoyable on your own, in a social setting. This includes going to the cinema, mall, or on one those Groupon deals on your own. Be in a social setting to call it a date, otherwise you’re just alone.

I have a friend who loves to go to restaurants on his own. He often has lunch or dinner at a spot that he’s never been to before, to enjoy a meal and watch people nearby – not in a creepy stalker way, but to observe culture. Then there’s Brooke Saward, a blogger whom I follow on Instagram. She’s been travelling the world solo, and sharing her experiences with the world. Now that takes chutzpah. Try being seen in public alone and then not feeling awkward about it.
One time at Ratanga Junction, I was standing in the line to go on the Cobra rollercoaster, where passengers are loaded in pairs. The park assistant stood at the top of the staircase leading to the ride, and shouted for anyone who came to ride alone to step forward. She wanted to fill the empty seats and ensured that all could hear her. Then as you would skip the queue she’d ask you again just to be sure. “Are you single m’am?!” Like seeing me standing here alone doesn’t tell you enough.

Here’s what you learn from solo dates:

1.  No one cares that you’re going solo.

Seriously, no one cares. And even if they did, what are they going to do? Stand up and shout,” Hey, look so-and-so came to the movies alone!” No shit, Sherlock – you have perfect vision.

2. The food tastes better.

Breakfast, brunch, lunch and dinner socials are easy ways to train your body unconscious eating. So you walk into a restaurant, bring along good company, touch on a good topic, and get lost in conversation. That’s a good social, and in the interim you ate your meal without really savouring the taste and enjoying it. When you’re alone, you tend to enjoy your meals more.

3. You meet new people.

Surrounding yourself with strangers is the easiest way to make new friends. And you become more approachable to others when you’re on your own.

4. You get to know yourself.

In the most intimate way. You learn what you like without the influence of your friends, discover what you don’t like, and what you could potentially enjoy in future.

5. You gain confidence.

Practice makes perfect as sure as it is a cliché. You become independent and sure of who you want to be.

6. It’s hassle free.

I enjoy going on dates and doing outdoorsy things. It’s effortless when someone shares similar interests as you do but it becomes a hassle when you find yourself delaying what you really want to do because someone can’t make it, or wants to wait until the end of the month.

7. It’s cost effective.

You just said: “I’m only spending ___ money tonight!”. Then one of your friends suggests a new plan for the nights events and you reluctantly mouth off, “okay, but can we stop at an ATM first?” You’d be more diligent with your spending on a solo date and less conscious of your appearance. If you feel the urge for a “fuck-it-I-deserve-this” shopping splurge, make sure that you keep your receipt, in case regret follows.

8. You waste less time.

You do more of what you love, entertain conversations that interest you, and begin to spend time with people whom you value. Anything less is wasteful.

9. Everything doesn’t need to be shared.

There was a picture message on Instagram that read, “the best moments of my life doesn’t make it to the internet”. And that’s such a difficult task for a cyber crazy generation. We’re already accustomed to posting whatever we experience. Perhaps you will document more of what you learn, but you will become selective of what you share.

10. You become more observant.

One night I’d walked a stretch of roads in a foreign place, on my own. I’d walked the path several times during the day with a relative who lived nearby, but when I had to walk the same road alone that night, I became a bit frightened because I hadn’t taken enough notice of where I was going. I’d relied on my relative’s familiarity and not my own observations. I could’ve gotten lost. Suddenly, I saw things that I hadn’t noticed before like the fact that the roads were perfectly clean, there were hardly any cars and there weren’t any trees or grass – things that hadn’t crossed my mind before I’d passed through alone.

Do you ever go out on your own? What else would you add to the list? Post a comment in the section below or send me an email to robyn@bewhole.co.za.

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Could this be the most overused excuse for 2014?

If I had a 1000 bucks for every time I’d heard someone ramble on about being too busy, I’d have a money tree.

(giphy)

But I’m guilty of it as well. “I didn’t have time to say happy birthday… I didn’t have time to congratulate them… I don’t have time… I’m just so busy!

(Giphy)

The world has gone mad. Nannies are torturing babies, Kim Kardashian’s bum is a topic of table talk, and of other tragic world news, the common response is: “oh yes, I’d heard about that…”

We’ve become desensitized to horrific stories of murder, rape and fraud, yet a large portion of society still lack the chutzpah to say, “I don’t want to”, or “no, thank you”. We have to be too careful not to hurt other people’s feelings, to be politically correct or whatever, so we generate a pile of unwanted situations like when we say that we’re “just busy”, and we actually mean, “I have other priorities”.

Every now and again, when I am having a difficult morning, I turn up the volume on my cellphone, to listen to Eric Thomas (E.T), the Hip Hop preacher. He’s said to be the first motivational speaker with a mix tape; but I’m confident that Biggie Smalls and Makaveli were advocates of motivation through their music, well before E.T motivation was even a thought.
If you’d just listen to Biggie’s 10 Crack Commandments, you’d be listening to a manual for success that you can apply to your own metaphorical crack – your passion.(giphy)

In one of E.T’s Mixtape audios, he says that there is no such thing as a procrastinator. You either want to do something or you don’t. And the more you want to do it, the more work and time you’ll invest to make a success of it. Inversely, the same applies to excuses – you’re never going to find the time to do things that you don’t really want to do.

Note: If you don’t love it, change it.

One thing that I’ve found to be vastly more unbearable than dealing with death, is having to endure a façade of joy from others. Sooner or later, the cracks begin to show and you become miserable. Spending time doing things that you don’t enjoy, is the quickest way to become a lazy person.

Steve Jobs once said that every morning he woke up, he would ask himself, “If today was my last day of life, would I do what I am about to do today?” Would you be content with your day’s plans if you knew that you’d be dead by night time? Let that soak in. It’s better to to focus on what you want, than to avoid what you don’t want.

Feature photo by Megan Richards

Watch: Jay Z, Bob Marley and Oprah on how to be great.

If you aren’t too fond of reading, listen: These video clips are going to change your life.

Click on the clips below, brought to you by Instagramer, JoyaWilliams. Each clip holds an important message on how you can realize your full potential:

1. Oprah Winfrey: On Moving forward.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


You are responsible for your life. If you are sitting around, waiting for someone to save you, fix you, even help you, you are wasting your time. Forgive the past, take responsibility, and move forward.

2. Sylvester Stallone: On knowing your worth.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


If you know what you’re worth, go out and get what you’re worth. But you’ve got to be ready to take the hits. And not point fingers, saying that you [aren’t] where you need to be because of him/her or anyone. Cowards do that and that’s not you. You’re better than that.

3. Bruce Lee: On learning.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put [water] in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can float or it can crash – be water my friends. [Adapt, don’t get attached].

4. 2Pac Shakur: On changing the world.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


I’m not saying that I’m [going to] rule the world or [that] I’m [going to] change the world. But I guarantee you that I will spark the brain that will change the world. And that’s our job – it’s to spark [someone] else who is watching us. I don’t know how to change [the world] but I know [that] if I keep talking about how dirty it is, [someone] is [going to] change it.

5. Lauryn Hill: On love.

 

#soyjoyplaylist

 

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


Love is an incredible thing and we don’t know love like we should. We always talk about, ” I have unconditional love” – we don’t even know it because if a person stops stimulating us, we stop loving them – “you’re not interesting to talk to anymore, goodbye”. [Learn to love more].

6. Notorious B.I.G: On perseverance.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


Whatever you do, do it for a reason. Don’t be the fool… Who does [something] because someone else is doing it – the only thing that you’ll do is follow in someone else’s footsteps and you’ll just be a shadow. If you have something that you know how to do, progress that. Keep trying. God knows what could happen…that’s what I did.

7. 2pac Shakur: On personal growth.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


[Everyone] should work hard. Practice makes perfect. You have to be diligent about what you want. You have to apply yourself. You have to  motivate yourself. You have to do it for yourself, by yourself, and then you can do things for other people.

8. Jay Z: On dealing with haters.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


If Someone doesn’t engage you in the way that you believe they should, if someone’s like “he’s arrogant; he acts like he’s above everybody”, say: “no, I just don’t want to argue with you about stupid shit”.

9. Bob Marley and his interviewer: On obtaining riches.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


Interviewer: Are you a rich man?
Marley: [When you say rich, what do you mean]?
Interviewer: [Do] you have lots of possessions, a lot of money in the bank?
Marley: Possessions make you rich? I don’t have that type of riches. My riches is life, forever. [Eternal life]

10. Jay Z: On time management.

A video posted by Joya Williams (@joyawilliams) on


I’m not going to let anyone speed up my process. I don’t care what’s happening out there. That’s the great thing about having ultimate confidence in yourself – it doesn’t matter what everyone else is [doing], this is what I like.

To watch more video clips like these, go to www.Instagram.com/joyawilliams, or search the hashtag: #soyjoyplaylist.

20 things you realize in your early twenties.

What could you possibly know by the time you’re 23?

Some of us have always known what we want to pursue in life, while others are still figuring things out. Your roaring twenties is said to be the time for exploration and establishment. Here are 20 things you realize when you hit your early twenties:

1. Time really flies. You wake up on Monday, go to work, prep your diary, and then all of a sudden, it’s Throwback Thursday.

2. This is not how you thought your twenties would be. Only some of what you’d planned happened? Work, relationships, the whole shebang… It’s not what you had expected. And you thought your teenage years were confusing.

3. You won’t change by doing the same things – you need to be what you aspire for and not what you were. The minute you fall back into your old routine, you’ll relapse into your old ways and deter from your plans for the future.

3. Success is about building relationships, not making money. And that’s how you make money.

4. Age isn’t important. The minute you hit your twenties, no one cares about how old you are anymore; but say that you’re in your twenties and you’ll hear: “you’re still a baby”, “you’ve got your whole life ahead of you”. Colleagues have joked that they have shoes older than I am. Must be some quality shoes.

5. EVERYONE makes mistakes – even those in their 40s, 50s, and up. Not everyone knows what they’re doing. You may learn hard and fast, as Robin Sharma says, “mistakes come to us to help us grow”. There’s no time to dwell on what could have been. Just prepare. Mistakes will teach you more than anything else.

6. You don’t even feel older. Some people in their twenties still feel as if they’re in their teens, except that now they have less time, more bills, and a bunch of decisions to make.

7. There will always be another party.
Every party that you can’t attend will seem like the best event ever. Don’t be too bothered about missing out; there will be others.

8. You don’t like drinking shots. Least of all Tequila. Let’s be honest, tequila will quickly get the party started, but you don’t really like chucking anything down your throat, or do you?

9. Friendships aren’t at all like they were in your teens. We’re not bothered about having besties, or spending everyday together. Now, quality time is scheduled via group email, and settled for the day when we’re all free to meet. No more, casually “dropping by” and hanging around – you need to request and confirm.

10. Talk less, do more.
It’s better to speak of experience than aspirations. Especially if it’s something intimidating like shaving your head and it turns out that you actually don’t have the balls to go through with it, or that you risk being compared to a certain blond, semi-bald celebrity. Do your research before making hasty decisions; find alternatives.

11. Two incomes are better than one. Invest while you’re young.

12. Stay active. Your metabolism is not what it used to be.

13. There’s no need to be flawless.

14. You have an ability to influence others. When you know someone in your age group who’s a teacher. It’s just, wow. That really puts your age into perspective – someone your age is molding minds.

15. What you do is more important than what you have. You meet someone new and your conversation begins with, “so what do you do”? Tell me that’s not the pinnacle big-girl/big-boy-pants conversation.

16. You feel tired after waking up.
You could sleep until 1pm if you weren’t interrupted. But you wouldn’t call it fatigue. Sleep is a gift from God – so valuable, so treasured.

17. “It’s up to you”. This is like the lifestyle version of: “it’s not you, it’s me”. No one want to hear it. And those comments come at the times when you’re really not in the mood to decide for yourself. People will make a couple of suggestions and tell you that you can decide or delay because it really is up to you. That’s when you know. You’re responsible now.

18. Ask more.
The response will either be rejected or approved but it’s better than nothing.

19. You can’t remember why you were so excited to grow up in the first place. Those who are most child-like, achieve more because they’re fearless. Look at Richard Branson.

20. Keep learning.
You will need to find a mentor who has lived the life you aspire for. Focus on specialized knowledge, and listen more than you speak.

An entry for Twenty Somethings Edition 1.

Kanye: My music is the code to self-esteem…I just want to help.

At first glance, Kanye West appears to be an overly self-absorbed rapper, who thinks he knows it all. The man calls himself Yeezus – the Jesus Christ of our time, which many consider outlandish and even blasphemous.

Instagram/@lizzy_the1st
Instagram/@lizzy_the1st

Kanye has a stupendous following that has rapidly increased over the years, despite his unconventional approach to rap and Hip Hop – he’s not exactly thug-life and baggy jeans.

He regards himself as a futurist thinker and a postmodernist producer. Which explains why he compares himself to a prophet and saviour. He’s got the following, the (financial) power, influence, and drive – to change people’s minds. Let’s not stir up a religious debate, but is Kanye not being figuratively crucified right now, for being so self-motivated? Just saying…

In his interview with Zane Lowe, for BBC Radio 1, Kanye  declared flat-out that his frame of thinking is well ahead of his time. He even went so far as to say that he knows how to create perfect.Upon referring to one of the tracks from a previous album, he said:” Dark Fantasy could be considered to be perfect. I know how to make perfect. But that’s not what I’m here to do. I’m here to crack the pavement and make new grounds, you know, sonically and society, culturally.”

There you have it.

He doesn’t just want to make music. He wants to change the face of societal norms, and motivate you. He gives reference to how artists have begun limiting their music to fit into radio stations’ criterion. And then goes on to explain that he isn’t interested in the commercial buy-in that radio brings; he wants his music to stand out, to be three dimensional, and to affect you – whether good or bad.

It’s a pretty fascinating interview, especially since it uncovers lots of details to how Kanye became thee Kanye West. To watch the full interview between West and Lowe, click here. Or read the highlights of some of Kanye’s responses to Lowe during the interview, below:

Kanye:

I always felt like I could do anything. That’s the main thing people are controlled by, thoughts, their perception of themselves. They’re slowed down by their perception of themselves. If you’re taught you can’t do anything you won’t do anything. I was taught I could do everything…

People think a lot of my motivation is very megalomaniac, and self-oriented. To the contrary completely, I just want to help, from day one, I just wanted to help.

I’m a postmodernist, as best as a career. I’m a futurist, mentally.

This record [Yeezus] is just the codes of that. Go listen to all my music. It’s the codes of self esteem. It’s the codes of who you are? If you’re a Kanye West fan, you are not a fan of me. You’re a fan of yourself. You will believe in yourself. I’m just the expresso. I’m just the shot in the morning to get you going, to make you believe that you could overcome that situation that you are dealing with all the time.

To read the full interview transcription, go to lybio.net.

Special thanks to Keegan Raman for valuable insight, which led to this post.

“I wanted to be badass… Now all I want is to be good”.

Why do we repeatedly do things that we know aren’t good for us? It’s a sad situation when you hurt yourself and you don’t realize it, but when you do it knowingly, that’s just dumb.

I’ve promised myself that I am going to stop smoking because it takes more out of me, than the pleasure it gives me. It conflicts with my desire to be fit and healthy. Even though I’m more of a social smoker and don’t *light-up alone anymore.

I deserve to have extra-fresh smelling breath all the time, hassle-free breathing, sparkling un-whitened teeth, and not have to work so hard on toning my butt and thighs because cigarettes promote cellulite.

Non-smokers are probably wondering why the hell we as smokers began the habit in the first place – if it doesn’t do us any good.

I smoked my first cigarette in my early years of primary school, after I’d caught my teenage stepsister pursing her lips on a Rothmans Red. She asked if I wanted to try and of course I wanted to try. I imagined that it couldn’t be so bad since everyone else like my father and his friends, smoked cigarettes as well. I took a few puffs and my eyes began to tear as the smoke caught in them. My stepsister was smart in the way that she knew that I wouldn’t tell my father she’d been smoking, if I did it too. Then every time I was around, and she had a craving, we would smoke together.

My father still doesn’t know – unless by some divine intervention, he never will.

As the dynamics of my family changed, I was separated from my stepsister and stopped smoking for a few years, but then picked it up again in my late teens. And this time it was all me. I already knew how bad it was and I think that’s what made it more enticing. I wanted to be *badass. Everyone claimed that I was angelic, and I didn’t want that. At the time (and place), being good seemed like a such bad thing. Everyone was badass, even the smart kids. I didn’t like being called *teacher’s pet and I certainly didn’t strive to earn that title; I was just likeable. Now all I want is to be good. I think smoking is most of what links me to my past and I really want to tear it away. Right now. Forever.
I’m craving a cigarette right now, after last night’s uptown gathering. And I think that I’d smoked more than half the pack of 20 last night. But since I’ve never broken a promise to anyone else, I think that I deserve to keep one to myself.

Aside from stating the obvious of how unhealthy cigarettes are, they’re also not as sexy and glamorous as they appear in the movies.

image
Instagram/@luci_furr

Some nights, especially when I’m wearing something vintage, and sitting in a scenic space, I like to light up a *smoke and imagine that I’m a cast member of my favorite movie: Midnight in Paris. I’ve never been to Paris and I’m sure that it’s nothing like it was in the ’20s, but there’s something about Paris or the idea of it, that makes you want to light a cigarette.

In that now-vintage era, cigarettes were glamorous; they were accessories, and sexy women smoked them. One of the after-shots of a sex scene, if the sex was really good, would usually have been a close-up of a half-lit cigarette burning in an ashtray, or a half-naked woman with messy hair, sitting up against the head board with a cigarette in her hand.

Smoking is like the stamp of approval that you’re badass.

image
Instagram/@discoxbloodbath

Except you’re really not. And I speak for myself when I say, it’s so stupid. Because I can’t vouch for why other people started smoking. It was never about relieving stress for me. It was never me. And now that I’m discovering who I want to be, there’s little room for being short of breath and taking puffs on make-believe pain-killers. If I have to be obsessed with something, as we all have one or more things, I’m going to make sure that it’s at least something that benefits me.

It’s hard to quit the habit so I have to break away from those who encourage it. At least until I’m no longer tempted.

When you want to change your life for the better, other people may take it personally. If you value those people and you’re serious about making a change, they will understand. If not, forget them.

I’m interested to know your thoughts, especially if you were previously a smoker. I’m going to need all the tips I can get! Please leave a comment in the space below, telling me how you quit smoking, and feel free to share tips that have worked for you.

That WTF moment when someone says you’re “too much”.

Something needs to be said about unrequited love and how it’s ruining society.

For some reason people never know what to do when they find out that the person they love, doesn’t feel the same way. We’ve all seen it, guy meets girl, falls head-over-heels in love, and then things go sour because he/she was just “too much” (obsessive).

Is this a bad thing? To become so invested in someone that you eat, sleep and breathe their very existence. Is it okay to be a little overwhelming or to feel overwhelmed at first? Passion is a major driving force for success and studies show that people who are in supportive relationships, thrive – not only with each other, but in other areas of their lives as well. Feel free to post your thoughts in the comments section below.

There’s only two things that you could really do if you experience unrequited love; you can tolerate it, or not. Some people can deal with feeling less loved than they give, while others become miserable if they don’t receive exactly what they’re looking for.

Since we live in a time where information is transfered within seconds, and we’re bombarded with a multitude of unnecessary options, we’ve become so selective of who and how we love. We’re almost lazy about it – we want a range of options so that we can make the perfect selection when the time is right (for us). It’s a bit of a raw realisation but we’re the selfish generation. Don’t you think so? This ruins the pleasure in finding love. It’s meant to be a growth process, not a bargain from a sales promotion.

We spend thousands of Rands, and countless hours perfecting our image – to be the ultimate buy-in. A lot of the time, people aren’t even on the market when they’re out posting on social networks, promoting their “brand” or making (unfaithful)selections. Tell me you’ve never seen a situation like that before, and I could probably direct you to an example. Like Robin Thicke. That man cheated on his wife and she’s the whole package. Without placing judgement, his case is interesting because what more could you possibly want when you’re married to a woman like Paula Patton?

A wise accountant once told me that you need to choose your dates wisely; go on many; don’t get serious quickly (if you know what I mean), but offer your time so that if you don’t have fun, at least you’ll know what you don’t want.

Realize that you are your brand. YOU ARE YOUR BRAND. Protect it, spend money on it, believe in it. If you had a clothing line, who would your target market be? Where would they hangout? How would they think intellectually? That’s how you need to be thinking when you’re looking for love, and in the same breath, maintain your *buyer’s interest so that your business thrives.

Those who think you’re “too much”, are just shopping at the wrong store.

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Instagram/@rmdrk

Nailed it! Right? To check out more quotes by R.M Drake, follow him on Instagram.