If you think you’re out of their league, you are.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

As cliche as sounds, the truth is; there’s no one like you. But there’s certain things you do, that’ll give others an advantage over you.

You are what you think about.

Anthony Robbins once said that whatever you focus on, you will find. This is not one of those spiritual mumbo jumbo comments that might be true; it’s a fact. Newton’s first law of motion explains that a body will remain at rest, unless an external force acts upon it  – so you attract what happens in your life, even if it’s not what you want; if you’re thinking about it, you create it. You’ll always be unhappy if you have negative thoughts, and you will live positively if you think positively.

The trick is to work with the negatives, challenges, friction or whatever you’d like to call them, embrace and learn from it but don’t dwell on it. For example, quit thinking about what you don’t have and focus on what it is that you actually want, then apply force (work towards it).

The celebrity hype is not real

Celebrities are ordinary people with extraordinary goals. They’re usually admired for their persistence and excellence in their crafts and develop a following (of those who aspire for the same things) from it. Celebs feel hungry and tired, and they poo – just so you understand how they’re just like you. Except they’re on a different wave length. What sets you apart is how badly you want to work and persist to get what you want. So don’t set yourself short. You can get there if you want to.

Be decisive

No one likes to be surrounded by people who are constantly complaining and don’t seem sure of themselves. People will befriend those who exude confidence, and those who seem like they have things figured out. You don’t need to be a certain type of person to fit in or to make make friends, you just have to know what you want; those who aspire for the same things will naturally gravitate towards you.

Take control

It’s helpful to have others advise you when making a decision, but don’t let others choose make your decisions for you. you’re the one who’ll live with the consequences of your decisions after all.

You don’t need to have many friends, just a few that you can count on.

“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”- David Mitchell

You’ll probably look for a partner in the same way that you shop

It seems a bit insensitive to say that your choice of Mr/Mrs Right is just another shopping venture but bear with me:

I spent five years working in the retail industry, prior to and during my university studies. At school, I wanted to make some extra cash so I decided to get a job as a beauty consultant. I think everyone should have a retail job at some point in their lives because you’ll learn so much about yourself and others, especially how the customer is always right.

I made a point of building relationships with my customers so that they would buy from me again; I’d consult them on their skin and then spark up a conversation unrelated to the sale. Once I’d gotten to know my customers, they would confide in me and sometimes I in them – I’d met one of my best friends behind the counter at a retail store, and I always met my targets as well.

But it was during those years when I’d developed a knack for sizing people up, that I’d discovered my clients’ shopping habits matched the way they treated their partners.

No-one wants to be seen as a commodity but if you think about yourself as a brand and an investment, it makes a bit of sense that even you would choose a partner based on their ‘selling points’. What I’m trying to say is that your choice of partner will model your interests and you can basically see what type of person you’d be into from the way you shop. In the same way as your interests change, your shopping habits will too.

The next time you’re out shopping with your partner, really observe the way they select items and what they choose. It may help you to know discover what sparked their interest in you – so that you can work a little harder on maintenance.

I’ve set out a little criteria that highlights five shopping identities for you to spot. I’m sure that there should be more than 5 identities but these are the most prominent ones I’ve noticed:

The sample queen/king

You’ll find them sampling a range of products without actually wanting to buy and they’re usually satisfied with whatever is available and requires the least investment.
Samplers talk a good game. It’s important to always try a product before you buy it, but once you know what it’s worth, take it or leave it. Maya Angelou said, “if someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them”. A sampler would however coax you into a story for hours – promising a purchase or hinting at it, only to find them return for another sample.

If your partner is an avid sampler, it doesn’t mean they’re cheap or cheating, but they’re probably not sure about you being ‘the one’.

Here comes the browser – “I’m just looking”
Browsers know exactly what they want but they can never find it in store. They’re the kind who have already researched product information online and will rarely ask for your advice. They will judge your potential to assist them by your appearance, quickly deciding whether you can help them with what they need or not. Browsers are the straight-forward no-nonsense shoppers that many sales assists fear. They’re very informed and once they opt for your assistance, you better be prepared to answer every question correctly and confidently. They will often ask you things that they already know, just to test whether you’re fit to assist them. And if you’re able to persuade a browser into testing a product, it will be because of your persistence.

Hey there, big spender

Big spenders are the sugar daddies of sales. They’re usually regular shoppers, who you welcome into the store by their first name. They know all the staff and always seem to remember something personal about you. They don’t buy many products, maybe two or three high quality ones and they’ll treat you like you’re doing them a favour – by doing your job.

Howdy,  smart shopper

They’ll call ahead so that you have their products prepared when they arrive. They don’t mind spending but they expect a little extra for their purchase – some appreciation, advice, or a sample or two. They’re will to pay the price if you’re willing to make it worth their while. Smart shoppers will build relationships with you and buy you Christmas gifts. But once they feel neglected, they will buy from someone else.

The Negotiator

Negotiators expect discounts when discounts aren’t being offered. They feel that they are doing you a favour by buying from you, not realising the other clients standing behind them, willing to pay full price. They will send you into the awkward conversation with your manager, trying to decide if there is a way that you can lower your standards to suit their needs. In many cases the manager will decline, and you will have to return the bad news, facing the now trantrumed customer, wanting what they don’t deserve. In other cases, the manager will be so annoyed by the negotiator’s persistence that he/she feels forced into offering a cheaper deal, which then leaves you stuck negotiating for this person in future.
Negotiators never go to the managers themselves- they need you to plead their case and listen to the reasons why they should get what they want. They are bad for business.

Shopping identities vary to items so focus on observing important purchases like toiletries and clothing – not purchases that seem important to you,  rather ones that are important to your partner.

Why your kitchen cupboard should be stocked with Peanut Butter

My heart goes out to all those with peanut allergies, unable to explore the wonder in its paste- You are missing out on so much.

I love peanut butter. It makes everything better.

When most of the world run to chocolate and ice cream to feed their feelings, I find the greatest comfort in Black Cat Peanut Butter. Of course, not just any paste. I particularly like the thick, creamy and crunchy peanut butter with honey and banana slices…Yum!

And filled with goodness! Peanut butter is high in protein, which not only nourishes the body but it helps your body restore itself quicker – heal faster.

One tablespoon is enough to give you the energy boost needed to get you through the day, especially as a pre-workout snack or as an energy treat.

There are some drawbacks to poorly made brands but isn’t that the case with everything? Sceptical friends would say that they would rather make it themselves, and to that I say: Way to Go! Find out how to make your own peanut butter easily by using the FoodNetwork.com‘s yummy homemade peanut butter recipe. Click here.

3 things to do when your plans don’t pan out

There comes a time in all of our lives when we want to wring someone’s neck or tap out of life because we didn’t sign up for what’s going wrong. But instead of stressing yourself out about what’s going wrong, direct your focus on how to make things right in your life.


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1. Plan
A plan is anything you’ve consciously thought of doing, in the long term or on a short term basis.

2. Research
You may not always make the right answers but the bad decisions bring lessons. Weigh the pros and cons of your plan and ensure that your plan will benefit you in the end.

3. Go with the flow. Plan ‘A’ almost never gets the job done. Success is not an easy road. The more you want out of life, the more challenging life will seem. Don’t be discouraged if your plans don’t work the first time round. The most successful people in the world are experienced failures.


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I’ve always wanted to be a journalist. I was going to be an investigative journalist like the two lead actors in All the President’s Men but during the later years of high school, life happened. I began working in the cosmetic industry, where my interest in beauty, fashion and travel flourished. Later at varsity, I kept my part-time job in make-up, also getting involved in as many extra-curricular activities relative to media as possible. I wrote, edited, marketed, and networked, which led me to intern at a world renowned teen magazine – an absolute dream come true – even though it wasn’t the original plan.

Do your thang! Will your plan to work!

Get ready and stay ready.
No whatever how badly thing’s work out in the end, there’s nothing like a good prep and some consistency to ease the strain. Let’s face it, we don’t always like to follow every single rule and even if we’d set out an A to Z strategy, chances are, things will change along the way. You need to over prepare for when life throws you a curve ball, and you may just have a back-up plan if plans don’t pan out.


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No regrets!The results of your last plan didn’t turn out so great? See it as a learning curve. Study your next move by tracing your steps back to where you might have gone wrong. This helps to avoid making similar mistakes in future.

How to get rid of doubt

I was scrolling down my Twitter feed and stumbled across a chat between Deepak Chopra and Mark Pinto. Chopra is best known for his unworldly public encouragements and uses Twitter to engage with and advise his followers.

Obviously in search of guidance, Pinto asked Chopra how he could eliminate his doubts. Chopra then simply and quite profoundly responded with: “Doubt your doubts”.

Fascinating right? Moreover, I was suddenly hit with the realization that all the regrets that I’d ever had in life, were fuelled by doubt. The worst moments in my life were brought on in me stimulating uncertainty within myself. And it’s the worst that you could ever do. You’re capable of anything you really want.

There no real advantage to doubt. You’d think that self-doubt would save you from making mistakes; that it’s just a case of being cautious and sustaining stabiliy, but that’s not true. Doubt weakens you. It stops you from trying new things that could have resulted in something amazing. Doubt causes you to question your capabilities and instigates inactivity. You shouldn’t be asking yourself if you can do it, rather focus on whethere you’re willing to do what it takes to get you want.

I felt like my world had ended when my father died. I will never suffer a greater loss. And the pain of losing a loved one can often wound you, but what’s worse are the doubts that you won’t be able to recover from it, and those doubts will paralyse you.

A famous quote from Buddha reads:

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

So doubting yourself would be suicide.

Why you should choose your friends wisely

There’s so much truth in the saying, “show me who your friends are, and I’ll show you who you are”.

This is not exactly the casual sex blog post you were hoping for but I highlight some points that will definitely apply to you and your friends. Check it out:

Choose wisely who you spend your time with.

It’s no secret that we’re the products of our surroundings. We eventually adopt the traits of those we spend the most time with because our minds are conditioned for growth – from the time you’re born, from the clothes you wear to the food you eat, someone else has had an influence on it; this never ends. You need to interact with people to maintain your mental growth – to progress in life, for their experience, advice, and even mistakes (which you may want to avoid), especially in this day and age.

Your friends define who you are.

Sure, we’re all individuals with personal identity but a major part of who we are comes from our social circle – school, work, family, entertainment, laws etc…

I’d recently attended the 2012 Student Leadership Awards at the UCT, where no more than 100 people were present – about 60 were students, including myself. I’d been working on a student-run magazine and our editorial team was was invited to attend the event, which basically celebrates excellent team work and  students who model the UCT mission statement.

Our team did not receive an award but as I sat there and looked around, I saw so many familiar faces, so many friends. Out of more than 25 000 students enrolled at the university, the student who were seated were clearly the elite – elite in their fields and student development. And there I was, to my mind, not at all fit to be part of the UCT elite, seated among them. Just because I knew all of these people and hung out with them on occasions, didn’t mean that I was of the best but it definitely made some room for the possibility.

Spend time with people who have what you aspire for.

You shouldn’t want to be like other people, but there are lots of things that other people know, that you don’t. Friends are meant to be beneficial to your life so it doesn’t make much sense to be hanging around with people who don’t model the life you want.