“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.” ― Sylvia Plath
One of the first rules when starting this blog was to ensure that it does not become a personal diary. I shut down the idea of writing about my personal experiences only because there is only so much that one can say about themselves, in modesty, in relation to my blog theme. Also, I relish in the idea of telling other people’s stories – I appreciate learning about others’ experiences and rewriting interviews into story form.
June is youth month in South Africa, and in my mind it’s filled with tons of youth inspired stories published from each page of Be Whole. Keep an eye out for more motivational features, travel contributions (yay!), other guest features, and style and beauty tips.
Now here comes the problem: wanting to write stories about other people requires the help of other people, which basically means that the writing process will not be a task that I can carry out on my own. I can’t stress how much I love writing – it’s the simplest form of teaching when you share a story, and can be quite clarifying to the writer. I often find clarity to my own thoughts after writing them down. It’s quite refreshing. And it’s why I do it for work and why I do it in my free time. I’m a little obsessed. I think that I’ve said that somewhere before in a post but nevertheless, sometimes, I get quite excited about an interview for work or this blog for example, but happen to collaborate with someone who doesn’t share my excitement. And when someone isn’t 100% excited about doing something, they procrastinate. It’s common practice. I do it too sometimes and that doesn’t make it okay. To the person procrastinating, it may not seem like a big deal, but to the one fully focused on getting whatever tasks done, it may seem unprofessional and even disappointing. Why? – Why do you feel disappointed when someone doesn’t do something that’s important to you? – Because you have a certain expectation of them, right? – Maybe not even consciously, maybe just hopefully…
I’ve near stopped listening to commercial music except for the songs that play in between Aden Thomas’ morning music quiz on Heart 104.9 or after the news on UCT Radio. Most of the time I’m listening to inspirational Hip Hop – nothing else gets my day going like a good beat with encouragement. Anyway, E.T the Hip Hop Preacher does the best inspirational compilations in my opinion. He says that we should stop living by feelings and start living by principles. “Behind every feeling is nothing, but behind every principle is a promise”. The feeling here for me is expecting that someone will respond to an email promptly, but the principle is realizing that my priorities are not the same as everyone else’s. My schedule is not the same as anyone else and neither are my aspirations. If I want someone to respond to my email for example, I need to send them a follow-up until they do, and not get emotional about it. It seems unfair to say that if I realize the type of character I am dealing with, that I need to simply work faster and harder to see my own goal realized, but that is exactly what I should be doing, otherwise nothing will get done.
How are you supposed to lower your expectations?
Just don’t overthink the situation.
In a nutshell, the more you worry about what’s not happening, the less time you offer yourself to finding a solution. Remember that your expectations only affect you, unless you are upfront about your requirements with someone, you can never guarantee that you will be happy with the results or lack thereof. In any situation, expectations can cause stress and anxiety, and is not productive in any way.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
― Bruce Lee
Do you have any other suggestions on how to lower your expectations? I’d love to hear from you. Please post a comment in the section below.