Be Whole

This so-true list of things we do, often without realizing, usually holds us back from becoming the next-level individuals that we aspire to be:

Hanging onto fading relationships

Like those long-time friends who know everything about you – those relationships are the worst to let go of. People become friends when they discover similar interests, and friendships fade when interests change. It’s neither good nor bad when relationships fade, but it can become stressful and awkward when your lives have changed so much that you cannot relate to each other.

Thinking that we are our own people and our surroundings don’t change us

From the time you were born, people have been influencing you – what you eat, what you wear, which language to speak, and so on… Every living being that you’ve spent time with has the capacity to shape you. In a scene from one of my favourite films, Cloud Atlas (which was based on the book with the same name), Sonmi the protagonist, says: “Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” Basically, you develop similar traits or interests as those you spend the most time with, so choose wisely.

Avoiding closure

When there are too many maybe’s floating in one situation – when you don’t know what’s going on but “let’s just drop it”. Or when you pass up on the chance to go to what could be an awesome event because you don’t want to see someone who may also attend. Yep, that’s a definite no-closure situation. Sometimes, self-assurance is the only closure you need.

Neglecting your schedule to suit someone else’s

This often happens if you’re the kind of person who hates missing out. You love spontaneous adventures but have conflicting long terms goals. Strike a balance when making plans and more importantly, decide what would be worth sacrificing for the long run.

Being afraid or too proud to ask for help.

South Africans can probably relate. We’re the ones who mostly say, “if I don’t have, I will go without”. We don’t like to be the ones asking for help, even if we’re not asking for ourselves. It’s good to be independent but opportunities won’t fall into your lap. It’s only in asking that we unpack all the universe has to offer us.

Passing negative comments about ourselves or others.

According to ScientificAmerican.com, your brain responds more strongly to negative words than positive ones. The theory by postdoctoral researcher, David Carmel, is that when you are speaking negatively (even about others) your brain will process these thoughts quicker than positive thoughts. And as you know, positive thinking equals a positive life. All remarks made, impacts your frame of thinking.

Have something to add to the list? Post your comments below or email me directly to robyn@bewhole.co.za.

Feature Photo/ Carey Chanquin